We all be cray.

I would like to first and foremost like to give Ottawa a few more points than Forrest's supposedly generous 'merican (not to be mistaken for "merkin") heart was dealing out. It is truly a lovely city. I give it like, 25 points at least just for being pretty. Maybe this is because, as Forrest pointed out, Michigan and Toronto were not easy on the eyes. Ottawa really does feel very much like the UK, only the people here are actually very nice and do not tell you to "%!*$% off!" in the tube (not that I'm bitter, ahem London!)
Also, I would like to give Ottawa some points for selling romance novels at the drugstore titled "Under the Italian's Command." This is a poorly written, misogynistic book, but it is entertaining beyond words. Also, Ottawa drugstores sell delicious chocolates from Europe which also make me happy. So, definitely 15 points there.
Also, I don't have a clue why anyone would put down flier-ing. What is not to love about wrapping one's tightly rag-curled head in a bright red scarf and darting through the trees at rib-eating strangers who are eating ribs to shove our show fliers into their hands and give them a mile-a-minute speech about driving across the country from Walla Walla, Washington? I thought it was a grand time.
As for the fire-hydrant incident. I maintain that it was hard to see, and, at the very least, we got a hilariously written insult on a gum package out of the deal. And, we invented a very horrible slur that night. Or rather, shall I say a certain male member of our company that is not Forrest, invented a new horrible slur. I give out points for that.
I also give Ottawa points for 1) Loblaws grocery store. "Bob Loblaw's Law Blog anyone?"
2) The Beer Store. It is exactly what it sounds like, only cooler. A warehouse full of 500 types of beer that you order and it comes out on a conveyor belt. Unfortunately for me, I grew up in a state with 3.2 beer, and have a slightly low BMI, so really, one beer out of the 24 purchased at The Beer Store will do the trick quite well.
So, basically, go Ottawa!
Secondly, I would like it to be added to the record that our company has been setting new fashion crazes. Pink grandma shirts are desirable beyond all belief, especially when paired with shorty running shorts. Scarves over hair tied up in rag curls are all the rage, and, last but not least, UNDER-EYE CIRCLES take the cake. They are H-O-T-T. Maybe even hotter than my future Arkansan husband Jared Hatt.
Oh, and also, I would from here on out like you all to imagine my name, Bambi Boom-Boom with a heart over the i in Bambi.
Kisses!