I obviously hate a few things in my line of work (semi-professional hater), but there is one name that really spits on my grits. That name, ladies and gentlemen, is Mandy. I hate it. Hate it mainly because half of the Barry Manilow song plays in my head everytime the name is uttered. (Clearly I hate the song as well). So, what do I discover but that the name of our GPS is none other than Mandy? Oh! AH! AARGH. I refuse. Yet somehow Mandy's name is irreversible according to other cast members. Therefore, I propose that Mandy has a job as an exotic dancer by night at a club of less than savory disposition. Naturally she must have a stage name. And effortlessly the name Ruby Tatas immediately sprang to mind. Beth then required her own stage name for unclothed dealings and so, I have taken the liberty of providing alter-egos for all of my cast mates in case they decide to delve into the world of striptease:
1. Beth Frieden= Breasty Freedom
2. Evan Cartwright= Esteban Cockwell
3. Sarah Hatheway= Sweet Honeypie
4. Abby Lynch= Amber Lips
5. Lisa Battle= Lady Delight
Becca Cox and Forrest Seamons posed a bit of a challenge as, sorry guys, they already have near-striptastic names, but in the interest of fairplay I now dub them Bambi Boomboom and Heart Throb.
I will continue wearing these awesome new glasses I bought courtesy of the local Kmart that make me look even more like the Lolita-esque teenage Lothario I am attempting to be. Goodnight.
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