We're all done!

Well I'm back home, which means the trip is officially over. Nevermind that Sarah and Evan each have one more leg to go, we're done. Now, as promised, lessons learned.

1. There are no cops in the midwest. I suppose there are technically, but they don't give a damn about people speeding on the highway. Though to be fair, our van wouldn't go much faster than the speed limit anyway.

2. The city of Deadwood, though famous, is not that interesting. They do, however, have excellent buffalo burgers.

3. Portland has the best beer in the world. I have been to lots of places now, and I can safely say that Portland wins. And while we're at it...

4. Portland remains the best city in the world. That's all I have to say about that.

5. Wed/Bed/Dead is an excellent game to pass the time, but it must needs be enjoyed in moderation. When you start choosing which car you're going to marry, which you are going to sleep with, and which to kill, you have a problem and it's time to stop.

6. Whoever came up with vodka-infused otter pops is a genius.

7. If you're going to have an argument with your significant other, the best place to do it is on the street, talking on a cell phone.

8. Sometimes the best way to get revenge on your father is to have children, and sometimes the best way to help your lover realize this is to steal his seed. This lesson brought to you, of course, by Julia Quinn, author of our latest, and possibly favorite, romance novel.

9. Sometimes a primal cry of triumph is just what's needed.

10. Lists are indeed better if there are 10 things on them.


In all honesty though, I have had a wonderful summer with this group, and I look forward to touring again next summer if all works out as planned. I have also had a good time posting on this blog, so thanks to our faithful readers (both of you). Also, if anyone is in portland or that general area, do let me know if you want to hang out or something. For all the rest of you, I'll see you when I see you. And finally, a list for old times sake.

Performances: 22
Days of rehearsal: 10
Cities: 7
Miles traveled: around 8,000
States traveled to: at least 19, 22 if you count Canadian provinces.
Number of different countries the 8 members of our company will be in within the next few months: 4
Biggest crowd: around 100
Smallest crowd: 4
Time between our biggest crowd and our smallest crowd: 24 hours

I guess that's all I've got. Thanks again for reading, and for coming to see the show, those that did. Cheers!

-Forrest

OH NO!

Everyone is gone!  I mean, almost.  Evan and Sarah and Lisa are still here, but that's like half the people we started the summer with!  As Becca said, our last show went fantastically well, and we are now officially going our separate ways.  The four of us are currently in a wonderful hotel in Rapid City, South Dakota, just a few miles north of Mount Rushmore.  Tomorrow we plan to see the faces, have lunch in Deadwood (yeah, like the HBO show town), and then high-tail it to Bozeman MT for the night, after which we will make our final leg of the trip home.  We're all a little giddy to be so close.  Maybe that's just me...

News from the road between London and Rapid City

Minnesota and South Dakota are so flat!  You can see for miles!  And you never get pulled over for speeding, because cops have literally nowhere to hide!  Also, the speed limit is like 105 mph, and the green machine can't even go that fast, so it's all good.

Evan and I are really really bad at thinking of animals.

There's nothing like The Sound Of Music to really wake you up and get you through that early morning groggyness.

Speaking of groggy, I feel we would be remiss if we did not give what you might call a "shout out" to Wes Battle, Lisa's dashing older brother who put us up in his place in Milwaukie last night, and then watched "A Few Good Men" with us and recited like half the lines with me.  Thanks Wes.

Which reminds me: Milwaukie.  Not a bad little city really, famous for breweries, so how bad can they be?  We found a little bar for dinner after we pulled into town and sampled some of the said beers, and oh my god was it good to have something with flavor again.  Also, I had fried chicken, which I haven't had in months and it was awesome.

That's all for now, more to come from farther down the road.

Danke London!

So last night was our final performance here in London. Heck, it was our final performance. Period. And, what a way to go. Our energy was high, the audience energy was great, and, we got a standing ovation. Only the second in our whole tour (I think.) So, points for London.
The town is great, the people have been nothing but nice (well, with the exception of the bizarre teenage hoodlum girls who shouted "you're gay!" at Lisa and me, and "that hairdo makes you look like a man!" to Sarah. That was just weird.)
But truly, London has been great. Lisa's and my host, Lyn even bought us t-shirts and postcards as a going away gift. Man is she great.
The tour has been awesome. What a way to spend a summer, and, as my optometrist put it "Oh to be 22, with no real responsibilities and traveling across the country with my friends."
Thanks for an awesome summer guys. I'll miss you all. Come see me in Chicago! I mean it!
Now, Santa Fe, watch out. Here I come!

One Show Left!

You could say we've got a foot out the door already; we're stocking up on food for the road trip, we're making hotel reservations, we're drinking the last of our alcohol, and we're almost completely out of fliers for our show. In just a few hours, we'll perform for the last time here, and then tomorrow morning we'll haul out. But that doesn't mean there isn't wonderous news to report.

Niagara Falls: There is a good possibility I'm even spelling that right. We made a day trip there yesterday, and my goodness. As Beth so astutely pointed out, from the water below the falls, it looks like the end of the world in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. We took a boat ride up into the middle of the horseshoe and got completely soaked. However, in between the walls of spray that the wind pelted in our faces, we did get a pretty amazing view. If Lisa is so inclined, perhaps she will post the most wonderful pictures we took.

Elephant Kiss Martinis: I had the most amazing drink last night at the Elephant Castle Restaurant and Bar, it was made of vanilla vodka, a splash of chocolate, and amarula cream liquer. Amarula cream is made from the marula fruit of Africa, and it's amazing. In fact, I think if pomegranite is the new cranberry (and who are we kidding, it is) the marula fruit is going to be the next pomegranite. You heard it here first.

LCBO: Or Liquor Control Board, Ontario for the acronymically challenged. We made a stop there the other day, and were more than a little shocked to find an utter lack of any dark beer that was not Guinness or some weird jamaican stout. Not that I object to either of those, mind you, but everything else they had was budweiser or coors or their Canadian equivalents. Minus 100 points for Canada for lack of good dark beer. Lisa will never forgive you.

The Witch Among Us: Not to worry, Abby has been officially brought down off her high broomstick horse. That's right, in return for the three crushing defeats she delivered to me, I came back from behind with three glorious victories. She may have superpowers, but they are no match for my powers of...you know, whatever.

A Response to the Honorable Madam Kate Russel: Ooohhhh look at me, I'm Kate! I'm in Japan! Oooohhhh everything is SOOOO different here, way more different than Canada, oooohhhh! I'm better than everyone because I'm in Japan and they're not! Yeah, what are you gonna do now, Kate?

That's all for now, but don't despair, I vow upon Lisa's honor that there shall be more updates from the road home.

Video? Video!

First of all Forrest, you can go outside and not die of heatstroke: London: a billion, DC: 0

Secondly, for those of you who haven't been able to see our show, you can at least see a 2 minute clip of it right here:



For the record, I am not the director (nobody asked; I'm not just engaging in a power grab, Lisa). Secondly, damn am I glad I let the others do the TV interview, because I look like a deer staring into headlights. This is why I prefer to run the headlights...

2 Shows Left!

We're on the home stretch, a show tonight at 11:00, and one on Saturday at 10:30, and that's all she wrote. I'll save the lessons post for another time, for now, some more information on London, Ontario.

Cultural differences
It's not far from the American border, but we have noticed some startling differences between London and America. Perhaps the greatest difference being the level of shame Londoners have about fighting in public. We have witnessed some serious relationship problems bubbling to the surface as people are talking on their cell phones on the street. There have been at least 5 sightings of this phenomenon, and we are endlessly entertained. Some quotes: "You know I would never cheat on you right? (pause as she awaits reply, then throws up her one free hand) The Fuck!" "No, you need to come and get me right now, I don't care. If you give a shit at all, you'll come down here RIGHT NOW and pick me up." I then walked down the street a ways, out of earshot, thinking that after a line like that, anyone would hang up the phone for emphasis, but as I came back a minute later, I swear she was saying the exact same thing.

Weather differences
You can go outside and not die of heatstroke. London: 1, Washington DC: 0

People differences
I don't simply mean the differences in the citizenry of London as opposed to say, Portland; I mean that when people come here they are completely different. Take Abby for example, mild-mannered, sweet, hardworking Abby in the states, but bring her up here and she is officially a witch with superpowers. She must have stacked the decks in her favor, because I still have not beaten her at a card game. Anyone that's ever played cards with me will appreciate how fucked up this is.

I'm not entirely sure where this one will fit into these categories, but it needs to be said. We were walking to our car the other night, past a few restaurants with outdoor seating, and there was a lovely looking family sitting there. Lovely, that is, until the mother definitely fed her baby some of her beer. It was unmistakable. Nothing like a bit of alcohol to really get that liver strong, eh? Good times.

I suppose that's all for now, tomorrow we're taking a day trip to Niagra Falls, I'm sure there will be some wonderful news to report after that.

Accents of London

Here in London there are many wonderful accents to be accessed.
They include:
Really weird one on The Main, which is a show on the Food Channel. Seriously, where did this guy get those vowels. We've never heard anyone use them before. Conclusion: maybe he's a Newfie.
Kind of awesome Quebecois one on Ricardo and Friends, on the Food Channel. MarshMELLows.
Variety of accents, rather well done, in Catalpa, as Forrest mentioned. Although it must be noted:
Canadians do have a different accent than Americans. Sound changes include the famous "oot and aboot," which gives Canadian English a kind of charming Scottish tint.
Really absurd extreme RP in obscure British movie, Bright Young Things, which is the film adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's Vile Bodies. Both book and movie were kind of awesome, not least because of the luminous James McAvoy's presence in the latter. Sarah will back me up on this one lest you suspect I am simply lovestruck and have lost all objectivity. Yes, I am lovestruck, but I also have excellent taste.
Awesome Manchester accent of Monkey Poet, who we went to see last night. Fun show, very raunchy but well done and very interesting. Anyway, raunchy is good for me, I learn things.
Okay this isn't an accent, but I LOVE the London Library. All of their books are spread across like 12 locations and take days to get here but man do they have good selection of obscure British films!

London!

We made it to London, after a short 12-hour jaunt across the border and around Lake Erie. It was a lovely drive, made even lovelier by the officer at the border crossing, who can only be described as dreamy. Officer guy, if you're reading this, call Becca, she misses you.

Our hostesses here are all quite lovely people; we're split up into three different billets this time, which makes it a lot of fun trying to work things out with each other and meet up and all that. However, it does have its advantages, as we have three times as many people who know us and who tell everyone they know to come see us. In fact, one of them went beyond that. Lynn, Lisa and Becca's hostess, was standing nearby as we were handing out fliers, and pretending not to know us, said, "Oh, On The Sly? I heard really good things about that from some people the other day, yeah you should definitely check that out." I just love her.

It's also nice to be back in the land of "The Beer Store" again, I missed it so.

There are some great shows here in London, I just saw a modern dance show about apples called Pomology. It sounds weird, but it was actually very entertaining, all of us that have seen it so far agree. There was also a one-man show about a whaling ship that went to Australia to bust a bunch of guys out of a prison and bring them back to New York in the mid-19th century. It was a great story and a wonderful performance, and Beth would be angry if I didn't mention the guy's lovely Irish accent.

We have 5 shows left on this entire tour, which is kind of surreal, but I'm optimistic about them. Our venue here is enormous; it fits something like 300 people, which could be seen as a negative thing, but I choose to think that they just knew we would need that much space for the oodles of people that are surely going to come after hearing such great things from our first audience. Seriously, 300 people every night, you heard it here first.

Abby is checking her watch and telling me to hurry the crap up so she can send an email. Maybe if I get some more time later I shall regale you all with another list, but until then...